Facts of Life 1

1. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

2. If at first you don't succeed, sky diving is not for you.

3. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

4. Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

5. Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people is mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're OK, you're it.

6. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

7. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

8. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.

9. If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.

10. Corollary: If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.