Some Daffy's

"Do you fish with flies? "Fish with flies? Yes, we fished, camped, dined and slept with them.

Many college students in this country are graduating just in time to build the computer that will replace them.
Little boy: Daddy, Daddy, I only had one cavity. Father: Great! Passerby: How did he do it? Father: he only has two teeth.

A little girl was showing some of her little friends through her house. "This is my room," she said, "and this is my brothers room. And this," she said opening the door to the bathroom and pointing to the scales, "is where my mother measures her feet."

If your outgo is greater than your income, then your upkeep will be your downfall.

How about driving?
Salesman: Yes sir, of all the cars on the lot, this is the one I'd feel most comfortable pushing. Car buyer:I don't want to feel comfortable pushing it - I want to feel comfortable driving it!

No matter what they say about marriage, it's still popular.

"Gee, Pop, there's a man in the circus who jumps on a horse's back, slips underneath, catches hold of it's tail and finishes up on the horse's neck." The father responded: "That's nothing I did all that and more, the first time I ever rode a horse.

An old backwoodsman went to the jewelers to get his watch fixed. When the jeweler pried off the back of the watch, a dead bug fell out. "No wonder it doesn't work," the woodsman muttered,"The engineer is dead."

Half our troubles come from wanting our own way, the other half comes from being allowed to have it that way!

Cleaned out
The tourist paid his bill at a luxurious resort hotel and, as he went out the door, noticed a sign that read: Have you left anything? "That sign is wrong," he said, turning back to speak to the manager. "It should say "Have you anything left?"

People still have faith in the future of this country. Look at the 30 year mortgages.

A barber surveyed the slick hair of the young man who had just seated himself in his chair. Then he asked, "Do you want it cut, or should I just change the oil?"