IRAQ - VERY INTERESTING - DID YOU KNOW?
1. The garden of Eden was in Iraq.
2. Mesopotamia, which is now Iraq, was the cradle of civilization!
3. Noah built the ark in Iraq.
4. The Tower of Babel was in Iraq.
5. Abraham was from Ur, which is in Southern Iraq!
6. Isaac's wife Rebekah is from Nahor, which is in Iraq.
7. Jacob met Rachel in Iraq.
8. Jonah preached in Nineveh - which is in Iraq.
9. Assyria, which is in Iraq, conquered the ten tribes of Israel.
10. Amos cried out in Iraq!
11 Babylon, which is in Iraq, destroyed Jerusalem.
12. Daniel was in the lion's den in Iraq!
13. The three Hebrew children were in the fire in Iraq (Jesus had been in Iraq also as the fourth person in the fiery furnace!)
14. Belshazzar, the King of Babylon saw the "writing on the wall" in Iraq.
15. Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, carried the Jews captive into Iraq.
16.. Ezekiel preached in Iraq.
17. The wise men were from Iraq.
18. Peter preached in Iraq.
19. The "Empire of Man" described in Revelation is called Babylon,which was a city in Iraq!
And you have probably seen this one. Israel is the nation most often
mentioned in the Bible. But do you know which nation is second? It is
Iraq! However, that is not the name that is used in the Bible.
The names used in the Bible are Babylon, Land of Shinar, and Mesopotamia.
The word Mesopotamia means between the two rivers, more exactly between
the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers. The name Iraq, means country with deep
roots. Indeed Iraq is a country with deep roots and is a very
significant country in the Bible. Here's why!
Eden was in Iraq - Genesis 2:10-14
Adam & Eve were created in Iraq - Genesis 2:7-8
Satan made his first recorded appearance in Iraq - Genesis 3:1-6
Nimrod established Babylon & The Tower of Babel was built in Iraq
Genesis 10:8-97; 11:1-4
The confusion of the languages took place in Iraq Genesis 11:5-11
Abraham came from a city in Iraq - Genesis 11:31; Acts 7:2-4
Isaac's bride came from Iraq - Genesis 24:3-4; 10
Jacob spent 20 years in Iraq - Genesis 27:42-45; 31:38
The first world Empire was in Iraq - Daniel 1:1-2;2:36-38
The greatest revival in history was in a city in Iraq - Jonah 3
The events of the book of Esther took place in Iraq - Esther
The book of Nahum was a prophecy against a city in Iraq - Nahum
The book or Revelation has prophecies against Babylon
(Iraq's former name). Revelation 17 &18 No other nation, except Israel,
has more history and prophecy associated it than Iraq. And also...
This is something to think about! Since America is typically
represented by an eagle. Saddam should have read up on his Muslim
passages... The following verse is from the Quran, (the Islamic Bible)
Quran (9:11) - For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a
fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the
lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair
still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of
Allah; and there was peace. (Note the verse number!)
Hmmmmmmm?! God Bless you all Amen !
I BETTER NOT HEAR OF ANYONE BREAKING THIS ONE OR SEE DELETED
This is a ribbon for soldiers fighting in Iraq. Pass it on to everyone and pray.
Something good will happen to you tonight at 11:11 PM. This is not a joke.
Someone will either call you or will talk to you online and say that they love you.
Do not break this chain. Send this to 13 people in the next 15 minutes. Go.
"If you can read this, thank a teacher....and since it's in English, thank a soldier." (amen!)
Sunday, August 5, 2007
More from Steven Wright!!
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
> >
> > I had amnesia once -- maybe twice.
> >
> > I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.
> >
> > Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
> >
> > All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy.
> >
> > I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
> >
> > If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.
> >
> > What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
> >
> > They told me I was gullible.... and I believed them.
> >
> > Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows
> up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
> >
> > Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
> >
> > Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
> >
> > What if there were no hypothetical questions?
> >
> > One nice thing about egotists... they don't talk about other people.
> >
> > When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look
like a nail.
> >
> > A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
> >
> > What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
> >
> > My weight is perfect for my height.... which varies.
> >
> > I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
> >
> > The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
> >
> > How can there be self-help "groups"?
> >
> > Is there another word for synonym?
> >
> > The speed of time is one second per second.
> >
> > Is it possible to be totally partial?
> >
> > What's another word for thesaurus?
> >
> > Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
> >
> > If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
> >
> > Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a
man who can't get his pants off.
> >
> > It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
> >
> > Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
> >
> > I had amnesia once -- maybe twice.
> >
> > I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.
> >
> > Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
> >
> > All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy.
> >
> > I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
> >
> > If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.
> >
> > What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
> >
> > They told me I was gullible.... and I believed them.
> >
> > Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows
> up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
> >
> > Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
> >
> > Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
> >
> > What if there were no hypothetical questions?
> >
> > One nice thing about egotists... they don't talk about other people.
> >
> > When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look
like a nail.
> >
> > A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
> >
> > What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
> >
> > My weight is perfect for my height.... which varies.
> >
> > I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
> >
> > The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
> >
> > How can there be self-help "groups"?
> >
> > Is there another word for synonym?
> >
> > The speed of time is one second per second.
> >
> > Is it possible to be totally partial?
> >
> > What's another word for thesaurus?
> >
> > Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
> >
> > If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
> >
> > Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a
man who can't get his pants off.
> >
> > It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
> >
> > Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
Funny's
46. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane
made out of the stuff?
47. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
48. If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?
49. Why are they called apartments, when they are stuck tog ether?
50. Why is it you have a "pair" of pants and only one bra?
51. When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? Didn't they nearly hit?
52. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
53. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
54. How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
55. If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is opposite of progress?
56. Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
57. Why do we park in a driveway and drive in a parkway?
58. I went to a bookstore and asked a saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
59. I went to a cosmetic counter, and saw these little bottles of perfumes in a basket, I asked the lady
behind the counter "Are these things free?", at which she replied, "Free with any purchase." I said,
"Did anyone BUY anything today?"
made out of the stuff?
47. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
48. If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?
49. Why are they called apartments, when they are stuck tog ether?
50. Why is it you have a "pair" of pants and only one bra?
51. When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? Didn't they nearly hit?
52. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
53. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
54. How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
55. If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is opposite of progress?
56. Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
57. Why do we park in a driveway and drive in a parkway?
58. I went to a bookstore and asked a saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
59. I went to a cosmetic counter, and saw these little bottles of perfumes in a basket, I asked the lady
behind the counter "Are these things free?", at which she replied, "Free with any purchase." I said,
"Did anyone BUY anything today?"
The Senator
.While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it
seems there is a problem We seldom see a high official around these
parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the man.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What
we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you
can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,"
says the senator.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes
down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself
in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a
clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other
politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him,
shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while
getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar
and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who
has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a
good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator
rises..
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where
St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit heaven."
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented
souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have
a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St.
Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven.
Now choose your eternity."
The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I
would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down,
down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a
barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and
putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.
"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday
I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable
What happened?"
The devil looks at him, smiles and says,
"Yesterday we were campaigning...... Today you voted."
Psalm 124:2-3 Had not the Lord been with us- When men rose up against us,
then they would have swallowed us alive.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it
seems there is a problem We seldom see a high official around these
parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the man.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What
we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you
can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,"
says the senator.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes
down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself
in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a
clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other
politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him,
shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while
getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar
and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who
has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a
good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator
rises..
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where
St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit heaven."
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented
souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have
a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St.
Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven.
Now choose your eternity."
The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I
would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down,
down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a
barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and
putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.
"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday
I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable
What happened?"
The devil looks at him, smiles and says,
"Yesterday we were campaigning...... Today you voted."
Psalm 124:2-3 Had not the Lord been with us- When men rose up against us,
then they would have swallowed us alive.
Pass The Butter!!
Pass the butter ~ ~ ~ ~ This is interesting.
Margarine was originally manufactured to fatten turkeys. When it killed the turkeys, the people who had put all the money into the research wanted a payback so they put their heads together to figure out what to do with this product to get their money back. It was a white substance with no food appeal so they added the yellow coloring and sold it to people to use in place of butter. How do you like it? They have come out with some clever new flavorings.
DO YOU KNOW...the difference between margarine and butter?
Read on to the end...gets very interesting!
Both have the same amount of calories.
Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams compared to 5 grams.
Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study.
Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other foods..
Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few only because they are added!
Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavors of other foods.
Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less than 100 years.
And now, for Margarine..
Very high in trans fatty acids.
Triple risk of coronary heart disease.
Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol)
Increases the risk of cancers up to five fold.
Lowers quality of breast milk.
Decreases immune response.
Decreases insulin response.
And here's the most disturbing fact.... HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY INTERESTING!
Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC..
This fact alone was enough to have me avoiding margarine for life and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is added, changing the molecular structure of the substance).
You can try this yourself:
Purchase a tub of margarine and leave it in your garage or shaded area. Within a couple of days you will note a couple of things:
* no flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that should tell you something)
* it does not rot or smell differently because it has no nutritional value; nothing will grow on it Even those teeny weeny microorganisms will not a find a home to grow. Why? Because it is nearly plastic. Would you melt your Tupperware and spread that on your toast?
Share This With Your Friends.....(If you want to "butter them up")!
"Do not enjoy yourself. Enjoy dances and theaters and joy-rides and champagne and oysters; enjoy jazz and cocktails and night-clubs if you can enjoy nothing better; enjoy bigamy and burglary and any crime in the calendar, in preference to the other alternative; but never learn to enjoy yourself."
Margarine was originally manufactured to fatten turkeys. When it killed the turkeys, the people who had put all the money into the research wanted a payback so they put their heads together to figure out what to do with this product to get their money back. It was a white substance with no food appeal so they added the yellow coloring and sold it to people to use in place of butter. How do you like it? They have come out with some clever new flavorings.
DO YOU KNOW...the difference between margarine and butter?
Read on to the end...gets very interesting!
Both have the same amount of calories.
Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams compared to 5 grams.
Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study.
Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other foods..
Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few only because they are added!
Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavors of other foods.
Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less than 100 years.
And now, for Margarine..
Very high in trans fatty acids.
Triple risk of coronary heart disease.
Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol)
Increases the risk of cancers up to five fold.
Lowers quality of breast milk.
Decreases immune response.
Decreases insulin response.
And here's the most disturbing fact.... HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY INTERESTING!
Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC..
This fact alone was enough to have me avoiding margarine for life and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is added, changing the molecular structure of the substance).
You can try this yourself:
Purchase a tub of margarine and leave it in your garage or shaded area. Within a couple of days you will note a couple of things:
* no flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that should tell you something)
* it does not rot or smell differently because it has no nutritional value; nothing will grow on it Even those teeny weeny microorganisms will not a find a home to grow. Why? Because it is nearly plastic. Would you melt your Tupperware and spread that on your toast?
Share This With Your Friends.....(If you want to "butter them up")!
"Do not enjoy yourself. Enjoy dances and theaters and joy-rides and champagne and oysters; enjoy jazz and cocktails and night-clubs if you can enjoy nothing better; enjoy bigamy and burglary and any crime in the calendar, in preference to the other alternative; but never learn to enjoy yourself."
True Doctor Stories
True Doctor Stories
>
> A man comes into the ER and yells,
> "My wife's going to
> have her baby in the
> cab!" I grabbed my stuff,
> rushed out to the cab,
> lifted the lady's --Dress,
> and began to take off her
> underwear. Suddenly I
> noticed that there were
> several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.
>
> --Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX
>
>
>
>
>
>
> At the beginning of my shift
> I placed a stethoscope on
> an elderly and
> slightly deaf female patient's
> anterior chest wall.
> Big breaths," I
> instructed. "Yes, they used to be,"
> remorsefully
> replied the patient.
>
> --Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
>
>
> One day I had to be the bearer
> of bad news when I told
> a wife that her
> husband had died of a massive
> myocardial infarct. Not
> more than five minutes
> later, I heard her reporting
> to the rest of the family
> that he had died of a
> "massive internal fart."
>
> --Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada
>
>
>
> I was performing a complete physical,
> including the
> visual acuity test. I
> placed the patient twenty
> feet from the chart and
> began, "Cover your right
> eye with your hand." He read
> the 20/20 line perfectly.
> "Now your left."
> Again, a flawless read. " Now both,"
> I requested. There
> was silence. He
> couldn't even read the
> large E on the top line. I
> turned and discovered that
> he had done exactly what
> I had asked; he was standing
> there with both h is
> eyes covered. I was laughing
> too hard to finish the exam.
>
> --Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA
>
>
> During a patient's two week
> follow-up appointment with
> his cardiologist, he
> informed me, his doctor,
> that he was having trouble
> with one of his
> medications. Which one?"
> I asked. The patch. The nurse
> told me to put on a
> new one every six hours and
> now I'm running out of
> places to put it!" I had
> him quickly undress and
> discovered what I hoped I
> wouldn't see.
>
> Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
>
> Now the instructions include removal of
> the old patch before applying a new one.
>
> --Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
>
>
> While acquainting myself with
> a new elderly patient, I
> asked, "How long have
> you been bed-ridden?"
> After a look of complete
> confusion she answered,
> "Why, not for about twenty years
> -- when my husband was alive."
>
> --Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR
>
>
> I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked,
> "So, how's your breakfast this morning?"
> "It's very good, except for the Kentucky
> Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,"
> the patient replied. I then asked to see the
> jelly and the woman produced a foil packet
> labeled "KY Jelly."
>
> --Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI
>
>
> And Finally . . . .
>
>
> A new, young MD doing his
> residency in OB was quite
> embarrassed performing
> female pelvic exams. To cover
> his embarrassment he had
> unconsciously formed
> a habit of whistling softly.
>
> The middle aged lady upon whom
> he was performing this
> exam suddenly burst
> out laughing and further
> embarrassed him. He looked up
> from his work and
> sheepishly said, "I'm sorry.
> Was I tickling you?"
>
> She replied, "No doctor,
> but the song you were
> whistling was 'I wish I was
> an Oscar Meyer Wiener."
>
> --won't admit his name
>
> A man comes into the ER and yells,
> "My wife's going to
> have her baby in the
> cab!" I grabbed my stuff,
> rushed out to the cab,
> lifted the lady's --Dress,
> and began to take off her
> underwear. Suddenly I
> noticed that there were
> several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.
>
> --Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX
>
>
>
>
>
>
> At the beginning of my shift
> I placed a stethoscope on
> an elderly and
> slightly deaf female patient's
> anterior chest wall.
> Big breaths," I
> instructed. "Yes, they used to be,"
> remorsefully
> replied the patient.
>
> --Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
>
>
> One day I had to be the bearer
> of bad news when I told
> a wife that her
> husband had died of a massive
> myocardial infarct. Not
> more than five minutes
> later, I heard her reporting
> to the rest of the family
> that he had died of a
> "massive internal fart."
>
> --Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada
>
>
>
> I was performing a complete physical,
> including the
> visual acuity test. I
> placed the patient twenty
> feet from the chart and
> began, "Cover your right
> eye with your hand." He read
> the 20/20 line perfectly.
> "Now your left."
> Again, a flawless read. " Now both,"
> I requested. There
> was silence. He
> couldn't even read the
> large E on the top line. I
> turned and discovered that
> he had done exactly what
> I had asked; he was standing
> there with both h is
> eyes covered. I was laughing
> too hard to finish the exam.
>
> --Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA
>
>
> During a patient's two week
> follow-up appointment with
> his cardiologist, he
> informed me, his doctor,
> that he was having trouble
> with one of his
> medications. Which one?"
> I asked. The patch. The nurse
> told me to put on a
> new one every six hours and
> now I'm running out of
> places to put it!" I had
> him quickly undress and
> discovered what I hoped I
> wouldn't see.
>
> Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
>
> Now the instructions include removal of
> the old patch before applying a new one.
>
> --Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
>
>
> While acquainting myself with
> a new elderly patient, I
> asked, "How long have
> you been bed-ridden?"
> After a look of complete
> confusion she answered,
> "Why, not for about twenty years
> -- when my husband was alive."
>
> --Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR
>
>
> I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked,
> "So, how's your breakfast this morning?"
> "It's very good, except for the Kentucky
> Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,"
> the patient replied. I then asked to see the
> jelly and the woman produced a foil packet
> labeled "KY Jelly."
>
> --Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI
>
>
> And Finally . . . .
>
>
> A new, young MD doing his
> residency in OB was quite
> embarrassed performing
> female pelvic exams. To cover
> his embarrassment he had
> unconsciously formed
> a habit of whistling softly.
>
> The middle aged lady upon whom
> he was performing this
> exam suddenly burst
> out laughing and further
> embarrassed him. He looked up
> from his work and
> sheepishly said, "I'm sorry.
> Was I tickling you?"
>
> She replied, "No doctor,
> but the song you were
> whistling was 'I wish I was
> an Oscar Meyer Wiener."
>
> --won't admit his name
The butler
Butler
This rich couple were going out for the evening when the woman of the house decided to give the butler the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late and he should just enjoy his night. Well, as it turned out the wife wasn't having a good time at the party, and came home early.As she walks into the house she sees Jeeves sitting by himself in the dining room. She calls for him to follow her. She leads him into the master bedroom, where she closes and locks the door. She looks at him and smiles. "Jeeves. Take off my dress." He does this carefully. "Jeeves. Take off my stockings and garter." He silently obeys her. "Jeeves. Remove my bra and panties." As he does this, the tension continues to mount. She looks at him. "Jeeves. If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!"
A guy came home and found his wife in bed with three guys. "Hello, hello, hello!" he screamed at them. "Aren't you talking to me?" his wife snapped.
Did you hear about the blonde who put under "Education" on her job application, 'Hooked On Phonics'...
Psalm 113:1-2 Praise, you servants of the Lord, praise the name of the Lord,
Blessed be the name of the Lord both now and forever.
This rich couple were going out for the evening when the woman of the house decided to give the butler the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late and he should just enjoy his night. Well, as it turned out the wife wasn't having a good time at the party, and came home early.As she walks into the house she sees Jeeves sitting by himself in the dining room. She calls for him to follow her. She leads him into the master bedroom, where she closes and locks the door. She looks at him and smiles. "Jeeves. Take off my dress." He does this carefully. "Jeeves. Take off my stockings and garter." He silently obeys her. "Jeeves. Remove my bra and panties." As he does this, the tension continues to mount. She looks at him. "Jeeves. If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!"
A guy came home and found his wife in bed with three guys. "Hello, hello, hello!" he screamed at them. "Aren't you talking to me?" his wife snapped.
Did you hear about the blonde who put under "Education" on her job application, 'Hooked On Phonics'...
Psalm 113:1-2 Praise, you servants of the Lord, praise the name of the Lord,
Blessed be the name of the Lord both now and forever.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)